Wednesday, November 25, 2015


Last night I had a dream that I was dressed up in an egg costume and I was singing "I'm Eggory the 8th" I was also standing on a stool with a noose around my neck. 

When I woke up I was worried that this dream might an omen that I would die today.
I get in the shower and rinse the inside of an empty shampoo bottle to get the very last essence of shampoo onto my head, I manage to get some soulless suds out of it, I find the discarded nozzle and in a maneuver equivalent to toddler CPR I manage to get a few drops of the pure stuff out of it. 
Oh yeah now we're cookin! I ponder my dream and I think to myself how statistically speaking it is now less likely that I will die today, because what are the odds that I would die on a day that my subconscious decided to go Edgar Allen Pun on me?
 I then come to a worrisome conclusion that statistics don't actually affect chance or vice versa, as I flop around trying to get conditioner out of my eye, I think of how trying to predict the future with statistics is now just science backed superstition, another attempt to control this crazy world around us, like religion. 

As I climb out of the shower I think of how we come into this world with no real control of what happens around us, until we learn how to speak. It is now that we can ask for things, 

"Mommy I'm hungry!" 

"Daddy I want out of this bath!" 

Suddenly we can affect the world around us! But then we grow up, and we no longer see our parents as all-powerful cookie and bath time suppliers, but our mentality of asking doesn't really change, except now that our parents aren't masters of our fate then who is? 

 I go downstairs to the kitchen and pour myself some cereal with raisins. We never really stop treating the universe like a parent, some of us pray to it, asking the big Daddy in the sky for help, some try to predict the universe by its behavior: Like an astute child might know that mommy isn't so nice when she has the "grownup bottle", so it's time to play quietly in their room, AKA looks like a storm is coming, better get to higher ground AKA time to get the f*^%k out of Syria, 
and some of us assume that we are just children raised by children who have been here longer, Walking around on a great big beautiful ball of mud. 
And we might as well sit down and make a nice mud castle or two before we become part of the mud ourselves. 

I finish my cereal and take out the garbage. I decide that I will probably not die today, but that doesn't mean I won't, just like any other day really. 
So I might as well wash the dishes and pretend to be master of my fate.

Wednesday, November 18, 2015


I wake up feeling like I should go back to sleep. My hand slithers out from the protection of my blanket to seek my phone, it is exactly 7AM. I roll over attempting to delay consciousness. Too late though as I've already started thinking, The neurons in my brain have started chirping excitedly like an overly enthusiastic flock of sparrows, everything I need to do today lights up behind my eyes like Christmas lights in November.

 I shield myself with funny pictures and memes on my phone, muting the chattering birds and dimming the electric pissing reindeer. My escapism is interrupted by my peripheral vision, the blinds on my window have sliced the sun light hitting my wall, cutting it into little rows of rectangles, new rectangles form one after the other on my wall, with a gentle subtlety they fade in as the sun rises from behind an apartment building.

 I realize that my comprehension of time was woefully mechanical, associating time with the rhythmic ticking of clocks, but now as I watch the sunlight trickle into my room like a warm flow of honey, I realize time isn't a beat, it's a crescendo, one that will never abate... 

I decide to go put pants on.

Thursday, November 5, 2015


 הדלקנו נירות ונקית לי את האוזניים,
קניתי חלב קוקוס שסרפו לך העיניים,
שחינו על חופיי צרפת והתמסתלנו בגרמניה, ואני זוכר שפעם כמאת נדקרנו באיטליה
 חוויתי איתך דברים שלא יקרו יותר לעולמים, תמיד קשה לומר שלום לאנשים שאוהבים.

הסתנו את העיניים מפנטזיה מתפוררת, התעוררתי מחלום ואני אם מישהי אחרת.
המשכנו הלה עם הסיפור של החיים, עך לב שבור לא מתרפה הוא רק גודל סביב הסדקים 
חוויתי איתך דברים שלא יקרו יותר לעולמים תמיד קשה לומר שלום לאנשים שאוהבים

היו זמנים טובים והיו גם קצת פחות
 משהיה היה והכל יכול להיות
יש עבר ויש עתיד אבל חיים רק בהווה
כל רגע שהיה איתך היה לי די שווה
חוויתי איתך דברים שלא יקרו יותר לעולמים תמיד קשה לומר שלום לאנשים שאוהבים